can't get enough...

woah! grabeh, soobrang saya yung naging whole week ko. full of wonderful blessings and surprises :)hmm... where to begin with?

kevin and I had this chaotic job hunting... nung wednesday nagpunta kami ng stream, and the whole day that we were there, nakakabored talaga! well, kevin made it and so as for me?..haha hindi!
para bang nawalan na ko ng hope to look for a job (which i really need! kasi lalabas na yung board results)
sabi ni kevs, "bukas pag punta natin sa NCO dapat galingan mo na kasi eto na yun! last na yun! at dapat hindi ka mapagiwanan sa byahe, isispin mo na lang si zai...!!!"
honestly, if not for kevs.. hindi na ko mag-ttry sa NCO kasi nga parang nawalan na ko ng gana...
but then, I just said to myself..i'll give it a shot! wala na mang mwawala. but we never thought that there's gonna be a lot of adventures waiting for us.

when we were at McDo quezon ave., i realized that I left my valid ID..tsk! sabi naman ni kevs, baka pwede na yung kanya at makisabay na lang daw ako....so when we reached the ELJ bldg. and as my friend was looking for his valid ID,.. nasabi na lang nya sakin na naiwanan din pala niya yung kanya!! Wow!!galing! magkaibigan nga talaga kami :)) natatawa kaming lumabas... haynaku sayang lang ang lakad!..but he wanted to comeback, all we have to do is to go back home and get our ID's.
so we decided to went back, imagine?double trip?! pero desidido tlga si kevs bumalik at wala na kong nagawa kasi nga eto na yun!!!

so when we presented our ID's, finally we got in to the compound. I'm really nervous kasi nga interview na nman.. i'm just hoping that time na sana hindi kami magkasama ni kevs sa interview kasi naiintimidate nga ako sa kanya..well, lucky enough as the interview was held... magkahiwalay kami!haha :))

ok,my initial interview grabeh sobrang nakakakaba!!!there we're four of us in the group and I was the only girl and i'm the only one who passed!!! grabeh, kala ko talaga walang pumasa samin!
all the time wala akong ibang ginawa kundi ang magpray lang na sana eto na nga yun!

next, kevin and I passed some series of exams for us to be able to go to the next step which was the behavioral exam.
and luckily, again, I passed!!

our final interview with the operations manager was really unforgettable for us, grabeh! di ako makapaniwala na binigay sa min ni Lord yung pinaka mabait na manager dun! waahhh!! soobrang approachable nya, even the whole interview itself was informal set up. para lang kaming magkaybigan.

and siyempre, natanggap kami pareho!! wahhh..im really overwhelmed and at the same time very happy kasi we made it!! :)))) at magkasama pa kami.bongga!!!

we both signed the contract for training..we hope we'll pass this to become full-fledged call center agent,hah! peace*

emo+wrist :'(

found this somewhere....awwwww!!
CONVERSATION BETWEEN EX'S:
Girl: Your new girlfriend is pretty. (I bet she stole your heart)
Boy: yeah, she is. (But you’re still the most beautiful girl I know)
Girl: I heard she’s funny & amazing. (All the stuff I wasn’t)
Boy: She sure is. (But she’s nothing compared to you…)
Girl: I bet you know everything about her by now (Like how you knew just about everything about me)
Boy: Only the stuff that count (I can’t even remember the stuff she tells me when I think of you)
Girl: Well, I hope you guys last. (Because we never did)
Boy: I hope we do too. (Whatever happened to me & you?)
Girl: Well I got to go. (Before I start to cry)
Boy: Yeah me too. (I hope you don’t cry)
Girl: Bye. (I still love you)
Boy: Later. (I never stopped)

to the youth٭

another message from saab's tumblr page....
its a message to the youth, and i love it, very inspiring:

YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW BAD LIFE GETS YET. YOU ARE BLESSED, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, YOU ARE LOVED. I KNOW YOU MAY NOT BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND IT NOW, BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS ARE NOT WHAT THEY SEEM. JUST KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT ALONE, WE ALL FEEL THE SAME INSIDE, THINGS WILL WORK OUT IN THE END, DON’T LOOSE HOPE WHEN YOU ARE STILL SO YOUNG, AND THE WORLD CAN STILL GO IN YOUR FAVOR. NOTHING POSITIVE IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO YOU BY SITTING HERE ON THE COMPUTER ALL DAY. BE PROACTIVE, WORK AT YOUR FAULTS, TALK TO LOVED ONES WHO YOU MAY ONE DAY LOOSE, AND LOOK AT LIFE AS A BEAUTIFUL GIFT, BECAUSE NO MATTER HOW YOU LIVE IT, DEATH IS NOT BIAS. WE WILL ALL ONE DAY BE GONE, SO LIVE THE BEST YOU CAN. ALL IS NOT LOST. JUST REALIZE HOW BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE AND THAT THE WORLD IS YOURS FOR THE TAKING. DON’T EVER FORGET HOW IMPORTANT YOU ARE.

I LOVE YOU.

SAVE YOURSELF FROM HEARTACHE

i've read this on saab magalona's tumblr page and everything is soo right: everything that i have to realize when it comes to love. . .
ahhh...sakit lang yan sa ulo, pero mas masakit sa puso :'(

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away
If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that’s not meant to be.
Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can’t ‘be friends’.
A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend. Don’t settle.
If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don’t stay because you think ‘it will get better.’
You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Thank you ♥üü

for all the things that had happened in my life, I just want to thank my Lord and my saviour, for the wonderful 22 years..(and still counting)! i have no regrets :) everything! I am proud to say that I am a child of God. For all the good times, it made me realized that, I must appreciate every moment that I'm happy because I deserve that. I deserve to be love by the ones who love me unconditionally, and still accept me for who I am.I made mistakes, I am not perfect..but i own up to it.

If I weren't able to experience the pain and suffering that I went through, I wouldn't be the person that I am now.. a lot of things changed, I learned how to love more--I learned to love myself!I learned how to be mature and I am stronger than ever :)) soo thank you Lord. I hope your still proud of me.

I look up to my life now with such a new and deeper perspective. . .

I'm looking forward for my future with You.
the deepest desires of my heart and my plans, I know someday, it'll happen.

thank You for the faith and the courage that I have.

thank You for giving me such a beautiful daughter, she's my biggest blessing, she's my inspiration :D

it sucks to do stupid things.....

I really don't know but a lot of times it happened to me. and i just always thought to myself, "here we go again"...

I remember, i had zai when i was 17 years old with his dad..who i went crazy.

we where together for almost six years and we were really young. I was on my 3rd year and he was 4th year high school

haha grabeh, in love na in love ako nun, soobra! He was my first boyfriend (sa pagkakaalm ng parents ko ah?!)

kasi siya yung unang dinala ko dito sa house and pinakilala sa family.

Im soo excited then because it was my first time to have a boyfriend na finally legal talaga, yun bang pwedeng dumalaw sa house anytime and pwede ng makipagdate ng hindi mag woworry kung may makakita!

I had a lot of firsts with him.. excited pa ko nun kasi, we had our very first date, we watched movie and had dinner after..soobrang memorable kasi nga FIRST TIME! and it will never be the same again.

sa pagkakaalam ko, i was also her first girlfriend na pinakilala talaga sa family

and ayun, our first year together ok naman..masaya naman although normal ang pagaaway, hindi naman mawawala yun.

then he graduated from highschool, and nung nag-college na siya dun na nagstart ang kalbaryo ko(haha!)

siyempre i was 4th year highschool and hindi ko na siya namomonitor!

sobrang maloko, ewan ko ba kung nature na ba talaga ng mga guys ang maging BABAERO

the very first time that i caught him was before kami mag anniversary(oh diba ang sakit?!) first time ko din na ma-encounter yung ganung situation, HE CHEATED on me, pero natanggap ko yun. naisip ko kaya kong kalimutan ang lahat kasi mahal ko. Yes, i tried to forget..but i didn't forgive... sobrang hirap pala kapag nasira na yung tiwala mo sa isang tao, pero dahil nga martir ako, i gave him another chance. but i remembered what my bestfriend told me: "sigurado ka ba sa desisyon mo?.. kasi kung nagawa na niya yan sayo ngayon, malamang mauulit lang yan ulit"....

really?ganun ba talaga yun?! But i thought to myself, maybe my bestfriend was wrong, He'll change!

allow me to describe him:

HE IS A TOTAL PACKAGE (mayabang, self centered, babaero, maarte sa pagkain, mabisyo, may frat)

..ok durog na durog!!.. haha

 in short, walang pinatutunguhan ang buhay. He doesn't even listen to his mom!stubborn.. like me!

pero kahit ganun, He also thought me a lot of things, nice things :))

anyway, when I went to college, my life was.. school-bahay ni boyfriend-uwi ng bahay!!

after my class, I went straight to his house and madalas tulog pa siya. soo tatabihan ko siya sa bed and matutulog lang ako ulit..ganun lang ang buhay!!..(weh?) soobrang tambay lang kami, kelangan ko siya samahan non kasi nagstop siya magschool. sobrang everyday kami magkasama.

i was on my first semester when we both knew that i was pregnant. we were really upset, it was unplanned. although i said to myself i would love to have a child, but it was really too soon!

wala kaming nagawa kundi sabihin sa parents namin na buntis ako, and they were all shocked and disappointed dahil nga nagaaral pa kami. But luckily hindi naman ako nagulpi.haha

pero after that i had to stop schooling kasi hindi pwede sa school ang preggy.

Big big adjustment for me grabeh talaga, he went back to school and i was stucked in our house for six months. both parties decided na wag kaming mag live-in and magpakasal cause we were really too young.

He was 19 then... and i was 17...haayy ang mga kabataan talaga mapupusok!!tsk..tskk

at nakakaloka ah..hindi pala madaling manganak! soo when zai came, my parents decided not to hire a helper. so imagine na lang ang puyat at pagod ko sa pagaalaga...

it was a total change for us, suddenly we have a big responsibility..

too much pressure of everything, financial support na hindi regular na nakakaloka talaga dahil hindi naman pwedeng magreklamo.

so when i went to school again lahat ng ipon ko kay zai lang napupunta..so he head no choice but to stop again and decided to look for a job to support our kid. syempre i knew na masakit for his parents na he needed to stop because of that.

yes, naranasan namin yung hirap at mamoblema kung saan hahagilap ng pang gatas ni zai..

kahit paano we want to give her the best..yung kailangan ng bata.

our life was hard pero naisip ko basta kasama ko silang dalawa okey lang. kasi dun na umikot yung mundo ko eh..i stopped my growth, para bang hindi ko na nakilala pa kung sino ba talaga ako.

and nasakal din siya..he didn't had a chance to enjoy yung pagka binata niya..hindi namen na-enjoy pareho yung mga sarili namen apart from being a couple.

we were not growing together..we started hating and blaming each other..

things got even worst kasi nagaaway na kami sa harap ng bata..and gustuhin ko man o hindi na makita ni zai yun..nakikita ng bata.. and then our daughter would tell us "wag na kayo magaway".. it really hurts.

then i would ask the Lord, "why?".. I can't understand, sobrang malala na talaga, parang cancer na unti-unting nauubos.

pati studies ko affected na din..I went through hell last year. and to think na i'll be graduating....hindi ko alam kung paano

He left us, and decided to be with the girl..

I was broken...for the longest time, i've experienced those yucky feeling.. anger, denial, emptiness, longingness and still I wasn't able to get it. why it happened to us? now that we have our child?....

Then i started praying, my friend told me that with this brokenness, I had to lift up everything to the Lord and ask for guidance. Pray for my inner healing... ask for deliverance.

God is so amazing, I remembered that time, when I surrendered everything to Him, the feeling was so real I know He was hugging me, like a lost child that went back to his parents.

all through out, My Lord was there..He became my friend.

I started living each day with this faith that I can do everything because I know I have a  Big God na i-gaguide ako, kami ni zai.

and now looking at my past, I can say that I totally forgave zai's dad...ganun pala talaga yun noh? akala ko din imposible at matatagalan..pero nakapag move on na talaga ako

and sana one day, he'll make it up to zai..andito lang naman kami, when everything is ok na. papayagan ko na sila mag bond.

Yes, I did some stupid things in the name of love...sa sobrang dami hindi ko na na-mention yung iba. But it thought me a lot and made me who I am today...it made me a better person.☺

nung naghiwalay kami, maraming opportunities yung dumating sa kin. and I just embraced it.

being single, doesn't make you any less., ibig sabihin lang nun mas matapang ka ng harapin if ever masaktan ka man ulit..keri mo na! (ehem!.. different story)

Pain nourishes courage. You can’t be brave if you’ve only had wonderful things happen to you.

can't sleep. .

its 11:40 pm and i can't sleep.. i changed my sleep cycle! ang weird kasi maaga ako nagigising ng morning usually mga 5:00-6:00am gising na ko nyan and then, hapon aantukin ako ulit tapos gabi na ko magigising!!

bakeet ganun?! hndi tuloy ako mkatulog sa gabi...bwisit tlga!

and now eto inaatupag ko ang pagbblog.

i tried to read a book that i must read kaya lang tinatamad ako. maybe i really need a reading glasses 

kasi lumalabo na yung paningin ko talaga.

haayy..tonight, i really miss someone!:(

grabeh, ang sarap sana kumain kaya lang wala namang makain!!

ang saraap magfood trip..and siyempre before mag foodtrip dapat may pera

anyway, my update on my "adventure" on teletech.. it went well

kaya lang i have to wait for my training schedule because as of yesterday, wala pa daw available na training schedule so for the mean time i really have to wait and keep my lines open if ever they will call me

plan ko sana magpply ulit to other companies..ayoko talaga ng na-sstuck dito sa bahay

eh....

i want to work as soon as possible

i need to prove something to myself, i want a stable job for my kid.

speaking of my darling, she's soo tinatamad na going to school maybe because her

classmates tease her for being "chubby"... i was really affected but then syempre bata naman yung mga yun.

ganun pala yung feeling pag nakikita mong tinutukso yung anak mo

affected ka din..nasasaktan ka din.

i know i have also flaws, hindi  naman ako perfect mom. madalas i lose my temper

pero mahal na mahal ko talaga si zai eh.

that's why right now, i want to work para naman kahit papano makabawi ako

I also want to thank God for giving me such a wonderful and kind brother =)

sa totoo lang, I couldn't imagine myself without my brother kasi madalas siya yung sumsalo ngayon sakin sa pagaasikaso kay zai.

kapag may lakad ako, pag may sakit ako, pag hindi ako ok..anjan lang siya...

she's my daughter's best bud♥♥

kahit walang dad si zai, kahit paano my tito siya na suuper love talaga siya

and thankful na talaga ako dun...

hayy i want tooo eat something!!!!

im starving....mahirap matulog ng gutoom!!!

ang sakit sa ulo...

anu ba yan, midnight na.

nakakasira talaga ng ulo pag walang ginagawa.....

gooDnyt :)))

senti mode (again)

im active again on my twitter account. and as i was searching for someone to follow..  napansin ko na active na pala ulit yung twitter ni kris aquino!..haha im not really a fan, pero since pareho kaming brokenhearted ngayon, nakakarelate ako sa kanya =)

nakakatuwa lang kasi super kakarealate ako sa mga tweets nya..

atleast my bago na ko ichcheck everytime na im online, grabeh na kasi soobrang naloloka na ko 

yes, im ok :) I am! 

I just want to share her tweets na I super nkakarelate...

On Wednesday 11th August 2010, @itsmekrisaquino said: 

‎​No matter how brave u try to be, a breakup is painful. Quoting again from my love iphone app- when u break up, your whole identity is shattered. It's like death. True, it's hard to get to know myself all over again as just me & no longer part of a couple. 

--it is..its really hard! specially kapag biglaan nag lahat! para bang binawi sayo kagad yung isa sa mga 

nagpapasaya ng araw mo

On Tuesday 10th August 2010, @itsmekrisaquino said:

Read this in my app for the broken hearted- relationships r like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together. True right? Good night. 

--haayy..you can never erase those scars, it'll always remind you of how much you've been hurt.

there's no amount of glue that can held back together :(

happy tummy :D

its friday the 13th today, but it was a really a lucky day for me :)) haha..sober!

pumunta kaming school kanina ni Queenie para kunin yung refund namin sa laboratory ekek... ayun! sa wakas, may pera na ulit..haha sobrang saya talaga dahil pera din yun n0h?! at matagal na naming hinihintay yun :)

after that, I went to teletech for our audio examination, and I passed the exam and i'll come back on monday for my final interview (here we go again,with the final interview... wah!) I hope I'll make it this time, I really want to work!!as in..I need it, badly.hahaha

when I heard that i'll come back on monday, i said to myself..really?! I was soo happy :D finally, something good happened to me to end my week....

pero, yung ibang mga kasama ko hindi nakapasa, sana nga lahat na lang kami eh... my nakilala na naman akong mga new friends ng dahil sa adventure ko sa pag-aapply.

Our favorite line, "kung para talaga 'to sa akin, ibibgay ni Lord.. pero kung hindi talaga, hindi naman uubra!"

I've heard this famous cliche..a lot of times!!! may point naman talaga eh, siguro nga kung hindi para sayo, bakit mo ipipilit diba?! much better if you accept the reality and move on with your life...

ngayong araw na to sobrang narinig ko siya ng madaming beses, ewan ko ba kung nanadya ang tadhanang iparinig yun sa kin hanggang sa maabsorb ng utak ko at maintindihan bawat word dun sa famous line na yun..haha pero promise! ang OA na talaga =)

soo after we heard the result, we decided to go home... pero dahil sa lunchtime na din sakto nagkayayaan ng maglunch together at nanlibre si kuya buboy ng lunch!!!!

oh diba ang saya? san ka ba naman makakita ng tao na after bumagsak eh nagawa pang manlibre para i-celebrate?siya lang yun!!haha... para mawala daw ang pagka depress nila.

grabeh, he's really nice...super!

kumain kami sa Mcdo, he ordered for us chicken fillet, cheese burger, frenchfries, 2 softdrinks(each) tsaka strawberry sundae, ang dami diba?! haha ang saya talaga kasi sobbrang busog hindi ko na kinaya at inuwi ko na lang yun burger. It was soo much fun having conversation with my new found friends :) nabusog yung tyan ko and most importantly, naging masaya ako. grabeh, simple things like that ngayon natutuwa na talaga ako na para bang dati sa sobrang bilis ng mga pangyayari hindi kona magawang maapreciate at namnamin yung bawat moment kasi fast phasing lahat.

last week was our initial interview and nag take din ng series of exams, at ng mga panahon na yun eh basag talaga ako as in BASAGGGG!!!!!...hindi ko nga din alam paano ko nakapasa dun eh! sobra kasing wala ako sa sarili ko nun beacause of what happened to me.

ang hirap palang magpanggap na ok ka lang kahit hindi and wear a fake smile, yung tipong kelangan mong mag shades para hindi nila mahalata na namamaga ang mga mata mo at kakaiyak mo lang. haaayyy....

and I realized, everything has a purpose after kasi nun hindi na talaga ako nag-ffunction(robot!?)

kaya pinabalik nila kami after a week for our audio exam...

so now, i'm much better, kaya din siguro napasa ko yung kanina! I guess, im much better.. picking up the pieces of my brokeness each day made me realize one important lesson:

if something is not happening for you, it doesn't mean it's never going to happen... it only means your not ready for it.

yes, siguro nga hindi pa nga talaga ako ready for that..and someday i know i will.

my soon-to- be happy heart :D

[kevs, pahiram ah? palong-palo eh!!!]

Maybe this happy ending doesn’t include a wonderful guy, Maybe it’s You, on Your own. Picking up the pieces and starting over. Finding yourself up to something better for the future.
Maybe the happy ending is just moving on or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing that through unreturned phone calls and broken hearts, through all the misread signals, through all the pain and embarassment, You never gave up HOPE.
- He's Just Not That Into You, 2009 film  

C2..the uber duuper tamad kong group☺

as I was browsing pictures from my photo album in my facebook account today dahil gusto ko ng palitan ang profile picture ko..sa sobrang tagal ko maghanap wala talaga akong makita!! argh...kaloka!! sa totoo lang hindi naman kasi ako ganun ka-photogenic, echos!!

ayun naghanap-hanap ako sa iba, tag ko na lang sana, and then nakita ko sa photo album ni queenie yung mga pictures namen ng C2(aww...kakamiss talaga!)

C2 members were composed of: Rochelle "rochi" Coto, Joseph Bernard "Jebe" Crisostomo, Chris Albert "Crissy" Cruz(haha pis tayo!), Jewelyn "Jowel" Cruz, Karen Gay "Ken" Cruz, Julie "the leader" Cuevas, Queenie "Que" Daclan, Corina "Karen" Dado, Carleen "Mylene" Dalisay, and Me♥♥.. ahhaha wala lang ako!!

sa section C, yung group namin yung pinaka tamad talaga everr!! ewan ko ba dito sa group namin wala ng ibang ginawa kundi magchismisan dati sa duty tungkol sa mga lovelife namin at jusko, ako yata pinakamaraming na-contribute na kwento haha.

super naging close talaga kaming lahat, except for rochelle..haha

siyempre 2 years mo ba naman silang kasama, every week form different rotation.. adventure to the max!..

I really love this guys!! sabay-sabay kaming natuto, from ward duty na hindi namin makakalimutan ni JB ang gamot na NUBAIN!haha.. dahil naitapon namen yung kalahati at muntik ng pabayaran sa amin.kaloka!!

                                 walang magawa, mga vain sa pictures!..haha

We also bonded sa graveyard shift namin, kapag walang case sa camarin.. kwentuhan lang ng nakakatakot hanggang sa makatul0g na ang lahat, pero si chris tuloy pa din sa kwento nya....haha

May panahon naman na madami talaga kaming cases and wala kaming ibang choice kundi ang magsalitan ng mga magaasisst. handle at cord care..hindi pwedeng magreklamo, case yun!

pero madalas talaga pag outside rotation, mahilig kaming mag food trip!!... ang sarap kasi mag try ng different kinds of street foods..diba?!

kung minsan din nagdadala si que ng ipod tapos nuod na lang kami movies, with speakers! take note, ang bongga.

walang kamatayang kwentuhan, laugh trip, takutan, asaran, siraan ng gamit (si jb) at kapag napagod..ayan na, nangunguna sa pagtulog si alexandriya at si carleen :)) kaloka tong magkaibigan na'to.. masandal lang ee, tulog na kagad..ang harot pa!nyahahaha

ang dami din namin napagdutyhan na mga special areas na talga namang uber sa gastos!.. jusko, pamasahe ko pa lang kamusta na?

but it was fun.. lalo na nung nagduty kami sa NCMH..kaloka talaga

nakakahawa sila..hahaha :))) 

 @ MCdo, Que's birthday treat :))

 C2 girls,, super crazy!!haha

We had also some rotations na nahahati kami into two groups, C2a and C2b.

ayun C2b ako..aba malay koba kung anong inaatupag ng  A.. madalas nauunahan nila kami sa cases kasi morning sila, hapon na kami soo madalas latak na lang yung sa amin.haha bitter minsan.

pero kahit madami kaming kalokohan the best pa din naman yung mga group mates ko when it comes to case presentation.. matatalino kaya sila, ako lang ang hindi..haha charot!

basta halimaw sila, yun lang masasabi ko.

We also bonded when we had our photo shoot and video shoot for our project in Rizal. sobrang saya kasi first time namin talaga gumala, haha at nanalo ang ginawa namin 

(ehem!.. nila lang pala)

grabe, soobrang dami talaga naming adventures hindi kona matandaan yung iba

but i really really miss this guys!!.. ngayon na may kanya-kanya na kaming buhay, iba pa din yung pinagsamahan namin...mahal ko tong mga to eh.

                                 on our graduation day... (sorry jebs At roch wala kayo)

 hey guys, i really miss you a lot! sana one day mag bond ulit tayong sampu.. 

"you know you love me"..XOXO♥♥♥♥

my most priced possesion♥♥♥

when i was 17 years old, kakaumpisa ko pa lang nun sa college. I got pregnant.

it was unplanned and it was unexpected. siyempre 17 pa lang ako nun hindi ko talaga alam ang gagawin.

first year college and first sem ko pa lang nun.i really don't know kung ano ba yung nagawa ko and siyempre my parents got upset and diappointed, pero wala ng magagawa kelangan na lang panindigan yung nangyari..

so when i finished my 1st semester, I had to stopped schooling kasi hindi pwede sa shool namin ang pregnant.

so all the time na pregnant ako na-stuck lang talaga ako dito sa bahay..

hindi pwedeng lumabas, kasi nakakahiya so nagkulong ako dito sa bahay for almost 6 months??

imagine my life here..grabeh! super boredom!!

but i had no choice kundi ang maghintay lang na mailabas tong baby. I told myself, i'll be very busy once na lumabas siya kasi ako ang magaalaga...

when I gave birth, it was mixed emotions.. nawala lahat ng masasakit na nangyari sa akin and just told to myself na worth it lahat ng sakit.... She's so beautiful!!!!

and sakto lumabas siya ng April 23, 2006 at exactly 08:20am she weighs 6 lbs 2 oz.

3 days before my 18th birthday. the best birthday gift ever!! I named her ZAINAH KIRSTEIN♥♥ named after an olive tree..haha weird?! nagandahan ako ee

The feeling was the best.. The first time that I held her I can't believe na sa akin talaga siya nanggaling.

really? I can bear a child??..grabeh, galing!!

pero hindi pala ganun kadali maging mom lalo na pag hindi ka pa pala ready emotionally and financially.

the feeling was very rewarding but at the same time mahirap! sobrang ang dami pa lang kailangang i-sacrifice and i-consider first. sa lahat ng ginagawa ko I have to think of my kid first. bigla na lang nag sink-in sakin na ang laki pala ng responsibility na meron ako ngayon!

and kudos to all moms out there.. napakadakila talaga maging isang mommy.

and when it comes to being a mom, I don't care about how they think of me and I don't need their unsolicited advice and opinion, and at the end of the day ako pa din naman ang magpapalaki sa anak ko at

wala silang karapatan para i-judge ako dahil they don't have any idea kung anong pinagdaanan ako at kung anong meron ako...

                                                                  my daughter :)))

                                                                       really maarte!!!

dear broken heart :'(( part2

haay, ang sarap talagang magmukmok sa isang tabi at walang ka ng ibang gagawin kundi ang magisip ng paulit-ulit.. what went wrong??

today as i went to my daughter's school para bantayan siya, hindi kona kinaya yung sakit at gusto ko na biglang umuwi. I can't help, tapos paguwi ko kanina umiyak lang ako sa cr, at binuhos ko dun lahat2 ng naramdaman ko.

sa totoo lang gusto ko na lang matul0g the whole day para matakasan tong sakit,of course no one likes the pain (sino bang gusto diba?!)

kasi aray talaga super!! but I have to go through it, there's no shortcut, there is no other way but to admit that I am broken at damhin talaga tong sakit na to ng bonggang bongga!!

madalas nagkukulong lang ako sa kwarto ko, stay in bed all day, don’t talk to anyone for hours, and make senti. But if you'll have the wisdom na it's really meant to happen because God says so then you have to accept it and move on. We go through heart aches because one, we made a choice and two, ito ang nakatadhana.

at siguro nga unti-unti ko na ding matatanggap ang nangyari.

isn't it funny to think that the only people who can understand what you're going through are those who went through the same pain & sadness?? yeah, NOTHING, as in NOTHING will ever make you feel better when you are in EXTREME pain and sadness. 

only God can heal a broken heart. He knows. He cares. after all, he's the one who created "feelings". He feels for us. He feels the pain too. and in His right time, he will make all things beautiful for us.

--sometimes the seemingly undying pain teaches us the most valuable lessons in life and if it doesn't seem to go away, it only means that you haven't gotten the lesson yet.

dear broken heart :'((

what??its 12:00 am and I can't sleep... here we go again!! ang hirap bitbitin ng sarili ko.(hindi sa mabigat ako)hahaha.

panu ko ba to sisimulan?hmmm... sooobra palang sakit kapag yung taong mahal na mahal mo ayaw ka ng pakinggan and wala ng chance para maitama yung mali.

kapag sarado na yung utak nya and you have nothing to do but to cry :'(

I can't explain the feeling but it's really really painful and I know nasaktan ko din siya ng sobra!!! He does'nt deserve my love kasi naging selfish lang ako, lagi na lang sarili ko yung mas iniisip ko and He gave his most genuine love for me, pero hindi ko iningatan :'( soobrang sakit..sobra!!

2 months lang kami pero, I could say that it was my best two months ever!!!

sobrang saya ko nung dumating siya eh, He came in the most unexpected day.

If I could turn back the time..but I guess puro na lang ako "sana".

You never really know the true value of that person, until He's gone!!!

at alam kong kahit saang anggulo tignan, ako talaga yung mali.

pero wala na akong chance para maitama pa at yun ang pinaka masakit sa lahat. ngayon para lang akong tanga.. looking at his profile in facebook

at tignan lang ng tignan yung pictures nya paulit2..

..yung collection nya ng gundam, sobrang ganda how I wish nakita ko yun.

pero wala na eh

I do hope and I pray na one day, mapag-usap kami and tell him everything

sa ngayon hindi pa talaga cause he's really mad

at kung kaya ko lang ilipat sa kin lahat ng pain na nasa kanya.. kukunin ko yun lahat at wala akong ititira.

sana maging masaya na siya ulit 

haay emotera ...ganun talaga pag broken hearted.

for REAL??

First time to write ever on my "own" blog, haha akalin mo yun? I'm not really good with this, pero try lang naman. Kanya-kanyang trip lang yan.

hmm..so why the name "sober girl"? wala lang kasi wala naman ako maisip na magandang name for my blog. SOBER is our code, meaning SOBRA/SUPER.

ayun, I think I am super in my own way.. supermom,superfriend, 

superchic (ang panget!) sobrang kuripot, sobrang takaw, sobrang tamad(madalas), sobrang maarte, sobrang chismosa, sobrang kulit, sobrang maingay, ayun!! Too much of everything.♥♥

but I love myself.. siyempre isa talaga akong certified loka-loka!!

kundi siguro ako loka-loka, hindi na ko yun.

and my closest friends love me for that, kinakaya naman nila ang mga ka-lokahan ko sa buhay.mahilig kasi ako magshare ng kwento ko as in lahat na yata naikwento kona, kaya feeling ko bagay tong blog sakin para hindi na ko nakakaabala sa kanila haha. pero chismosa din naman sila kaya okey lang ^_^

as of now kasi dito lang ako sa bahay, walang magawa...kaya eto buti na lang my internet na kami

diverting my attention now, im keeping myself busy as much as possible ayoko ng natetengga. I don't know what are my solid plans yet, but i really want to work. but im soo tinatamad kasi lately medyo nawalan na ko ng gana eh

i guess, i really need time and pahinga and peace of mind.

madalas kasi nagmumukmok lang muna ako.Ayoko muna magkikilos!!

ang hirap pala ng ganito, parang wala munang pinatutunguhan

naghihintay lang. I tried applying online, submit my resume which my friend kevs did for me.haha and this week, two calls na ang hindi ko nasasagot sa fone ko!! ewan ko ba kung sadyang wrong timing sila tumawag or ako lang talaga ang my problem. well if it's not for me alam ko naman ding hindi yun uubra sakin.

 

But I know my Creator will take the rest, I just have to trust with his plans for me. kakayanin!! I know in my heart that He is with me, all the time.

sobra yung love ni Lord para sakin kahit na minsan parang nawawala ako, tapos close kami ulit..ewan koba, I guess I have a lot to learn

....and i really miss the person na nagpauso ng SOBER.♥♥ 

you know who you are, and you'll always be in my heart, you're My always.

I hope you're doing great. "MAHAL NA MAHAL KITA SOBER"....